I've mellowed out a lot in a week. When this started I was 110% sure that PSE&G was wrong and I was right. Back in 2009 we went through so many applications, inspections, rejections, approvals, connections, etc. that I was sure that a final net-metering check had to have been one of them. But a thorough check of my files yielded no evidence of a net-metering approval notification. I found one that said our application for net-metering was approved, but I guess that's not the same thing. So it's definitely not beyond the realm of possibility that I'm completely wrong.
Now, in my book PSE&G isn't completely off the hook. Not only have I been net-metering for 2.5 years, they've been tallying up the KWh in and KWh out (this is the net-metering part) and sending me bills on the difference. So even though I understand that a giant bureaucracy can lose track of a few customers with 48 solar panels here and there, they've tacitly approved the net-metering by sending me these bills.
I haven't manage to get in touch with the appropriate net-metering person at PSE&G. I just left a message a few minutes ago. I plan to be my usual pleasant and jolly old self, accommodate the hell out of them, and do what it takes to get that approval and, more importantly, get a new net-metering-capable meter.
This all started when they replaced that "dumb" meter with that "smart" meter (which they didn't even realize they'd done until I told them). I wonder if they realize that the dumb one is better than the smart one?